It's not just buying things. It's harmful to you. Your family sees the problem. I'm glad they are trying to point it out so you can learn to control your thoughts and slow the buying. It can get worse.
Concentrating on "things" is a shallow endeavor and a shallow thought life. When you value your life around "things" you are setting yourself up for disaster and disappointment. You are turning money into the holy grail of happiness, which is an empty lie and fantasy.
Money and things are the "reward" for a proper thought life and "right thinking," not a proper goal in and of themselves.
Think on these things (Thought Life)
Phil 4:8
Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
You have to guard your thoughts like a doorway to your mind. You choose what thoughts are allowed to come in, which thoughts will stay, and which to drive out the other door. Certainly, some thoughts enter without warning, maybe because you see "things" advertised, or some sexual connotation. When these things pop into your mind, do not dwell on them, simply drive them out and replace them with something good, just, true, honest, pure, something lovely and productive.
I used to get several shopping magazines in the mail like Cabella's hunting and hiking gear. I never thought about these things until I got the magazines and started looking. But once my eyes fell on these things, I wanted everything they had to sell. Again, don't dwell on these things and they go away as frivolous as they are.
There are many ways to show your love, and things are just one, far inferior way. Call them often, go see them, ask what you can do for them, take them places, introduce them to your activities or ones they may be interested in. If you insist on spending money, take them to a play or a symphony or out to eat. Make a memory with them. Take them for a walk at your favorite place.
only you can stop yourself from buying. While I can understand you're trying to make them happy, or happy with you, or maybe that they will remember you in their will (some people do do that), or maybe you just need or crave attention and appreciation. When my mother used to say don't buy me anything I still bought for her. Twenty years later I was cleaning out all the stuff I left at home and here comes mom with her arms full giving me back the stuff I bought her saying she had no use for it and I could have it back (I was mortified). I also realized that I'd buy a lot of stuff back then just to see the stuff sit in beautiful colors in my closet, never wore the stuff. Someone once told me it has to do with lack of things when we were children, I wore uniforms for many years in school and never had a lot of nice clothes and the few I did have mom bought them for me. So my buying things meant security and independence and freedom to me. What does buying mean to you?
At some point, when one begins to retire, one realizes they spent all their money on frivolous things and didn't save for retirement (even though the income was meager) and money could have been spent more wisely (like less in student loans). Happiness of family could have come from me doing things for them rather than buying them things. You are going to need money at retirement, your retirement will be a lot different than mine. I'd say just do things for them instead, be there for them when they have a need. If you want to buy for them then buy them food.
If you're in America you might have high Obamacare to pay for, or other high insurance costs and you will need your money for those things. And, maybe you don't see your own worth, that you are important too, and that you come first.
I have recently been constantly buying things for multiple family members. Believe it or not..... I have precisely spent $139 of my grandmother and grandfather all together. I know, it is mind-numbing & jaw dropping to hear anyone spend that much money on their grandparents (unless it were rich people). For some reason, everytime I see something that I know one of my grandparents will like, whether or not I know that they don't need it. As long as I know it is something they could use or something they would like...... I nearly everytime end up getting it. My grandparents is in a panic attack of me constantly buying them things. They do appreciate the thought of it, but what I have gotten them is things they just did not need, and they want me to save every dime i got for something in the future i would need for. And they are right, I completely agree with them...... but for some reason, I am overtaken from the desire to just give and give my grandparents things all the time. I have not bought them anything in the past few months. But I very importantly and crucially need some advice to help prevent me from buying anything more in the future. I greatly thank anyone who answers my question.
